Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
