she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
