I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize