To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
