Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
