let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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