I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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