i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
