If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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