Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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