WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My bed smells like the plague
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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