I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
