I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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