i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
