She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
