I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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