my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
