You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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