And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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