you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
