evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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