i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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