if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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