47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
