We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize