maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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