I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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