Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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