he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
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