The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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