things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
