Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dignity is for republicans.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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