i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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