the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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