He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
