So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
