I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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