Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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