I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
