How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just invented taco cereal.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
