It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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