i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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