Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
