I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
