like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
now i know why i became what i already was.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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