if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
