She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
