is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
