we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
