I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
