Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
