Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Don't tell me you're on acid again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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