Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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