Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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i drank out of a bidet.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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