hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Randomize
