Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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