I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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