Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
