nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
