All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
